Dear EA, you might think that because you continuously tease the topics of remasters, new IPs, the Star Wars game no one wants, and the Star Wars game people do want, but won’t get before the Star Wars game they don’t want, that people enjoy hearing you talk about essentially nothing during your earnings calls? Well we don’t, so knock it off already.

Let’s face it, the only legitimately remasterable (it’s a word now) series you have that gamers are remotely interested in right now is Mass Effect. And even for that, you are running out of time on a remarkable level.

There’s only a matter of four months until you actually release the fourth game in the series, Mass Effect Andromeda. The new iteration will be taking the brand into a new direction and it will become more difficult for a remastered trilogy to be justified.

This is a time when EA should take a lesson from Sony in how to release a remaster. Before Uncharted 4: A Thief’s End was launched, Sony re-released the first three games via remaster. Uncharted: The Nathan Drake Collection ties the series’ history together and got folks ready for the fourth game. Releasing the first three Mass Effect games after Andromeda would just not make much sense.

Oh and unless there is a legitimate remaster coming very, very soon, can EA just stop talking about the topic altogether? You know what’s frustrating about strip clubs and why I don’t ever go to them? Not being able to experience the real thing, and that’s what EA talking about remasters has become, a tease.

What’s “meaningful” is not flailing exciting games out as flimsy banners so you can get headlines out of your conference call each quarter. No one cares about Star Wars Battlefront 2 because it’s fall 2016 and that won’t arrive until 2017.

And let me start off by saying there’s a lot for EA to prove with Battlefront 2 considering how underwhelming the first iteration was. Sweet EA, you’re essentially giving us Titanfall 2Star Wars edition. Didn’t you know? No one wants another Star Wars Battlefront before you release that single-player game you’ve had Amy Hennig “working” on since April 2014.

Besides, why can’t you just get it right the first time? Titanfall 1, multiplayer only. Star Wars Battlefront 1, multiplayer only. Does the first iteration always have to rob us of $60 before it is done right? I guess it does since that’s what it takes for you to create an “established IP.”

Don’t even get me started on the Titanfall 2 and Battlefield 1 “fulfill very different motivations in what a player is looking for” comment. No they do not. One has players in massive machines shooting at other players in massive machines, while the other has players in massive machines shooting at other players in mass-ive, mach-ines? Huh.

Why wouldn’t you release the two shooters during two different times of the fall? Titanfall 2 is the obnoxious highway driver that is cutting off the sales of Battlefield 1 and vice versa. EA knew when these games would release for quite sometime and didn’t make any launch changes.

Are those Sunday Night Football ad dates that hard to switch around? I guess so when you’re looking at a rousing 6-6 overtime yawn between the Cardinals and Seahawks on Oct. 23 compared to the 43-14 assault of the Chiefs by the Steelers on Oct. 2.

Tossing out exciting headlines from your company’s conference call is neat only if the things you are talking about happen sometime soon. Oh, what’s that? The new Assassin’s Creed-like action game you’re making is three or four years out? Stop it already. Tell us about it when you actually have something to show.

E3 and gameplay footage is the time to talk, not quarterly conference calls. No one ever made a great game talking about it on the phone. Ubisoft didn’t even tease us about Assassin’s Creed in 2003, so stop trolling that brand’s name when the game you will most likely make won’t even be remotely close to Assassin’s.

Take a lesson from the publisher that talks about its upcoming games, and doesn’t leave you marinating in frustration, Ubisoft. Whenever a new iteration in a franchise is discussed, it is usually followed with a release within the next year or so, not the next “three or four years.”

Gamers never heard about Steep back in 2013 or 2012, and we sure as hell didn’t hear about Ghost Recon Wildlands in 2013 or 2014. So why are we hearing about a game that people only know of because you’ve used the name Assassin’s Creed?

Conference calls are a great way to hear industry perspectives about what companies are doing and how gaming as a whole is performing. These events are nice because they can reiterate a launch date or inform us about a game delay.

However, we do not need these to become platforms for spouting off about projects that are more like a half a decade away from launching. It’s frustrating and an obnoxious, uncalled for tease. Stick around here at We Write Things for more on video games.

About Steve Ruygrok

Gaming, Spirits, and Craft Beer enthusiast. If you say you don't like beer, then you just haven't had the right type yet. Great spirits keep away the bad ones. Video games are kind of amazing, just do it...or something like that.